I’ve dreamt of starting a blog for years but have never known where to start. Of course, there’s my 2019 & 2020 recaps — which are both traumatic and beautiful all at once. Those blogs were easy to write, they were personal and true experiences of the last 24 months of my life. Looking back, I realize those stories were simply the drama of my external world. It’s as if I became my own “Gossip Girl” and was reporting my juiciest tea.
But I never introduced myself before jumping into the affairs and hardships that life has thrown my way.
With that being said,
Hi. I’m Autumn Cambron.
I used to love the way people said my name. This began in fifth grade when I bought thousands of Instagram followers. & lied to everyone who asked if I did so.
“Autumn Cambron is so popular!”
In seventh grade I began to physically develop — and boy, did I love showing that off. I wore the shortest jean shorts with low cut crop tops to every Catholic school picnic. Running around with the other pre-teens, I thought I was sex on a stick. Puberty hormones were getting to me.
“What is Autumn Cambron wearing? Her parents let her out of the house like that?”
High school came around and my God complex never faded. I was the definition of an “over sharer.” Anyone with ears, I poured out my entire life to. I thought I was SO interesting!
“Autumn Cambron said this to me today…”
I never fully understood that all attention isn’t good attention.
Writing this, I realize how difficult it is to paint my past self myself in a good light. So far in the story, I’ve bought my way into popularity, pride myself on my body alone, and crave the attention of anyone around me.
To an extent, I’m still the same girl I’ve been growing up. I still love Instagram, I still love my body, and I still love attention.
Hence, my constant booty posts.
But that isn’t all of me.
I wish I could start this introduction with some magical story or reasoning as to why and how my parents came up with my name. But I can’t. My parents weren’t trying to have another kid. I was a… surprise. Realizing I was going to pop out of my moms womb pretty soon, they hit the baby book of names. They started at “A” and read down the list.
My name was nearly “Abigail”
They didn’t read very far.
Not totally set on Abigail, they continued down the list.
That’ll do. They weren’t going to move onto the “B” names anyway… too much work for expecting parents.
I’ve been on this earth for nearly 20 years since the day they picked my name. A lot has happened since then.
In fourth grade, the mean girls in my class used to make fun of my name. I wasn’t “Autumn” I was “ODD-DUMB!” Sounds like “Autumn” if you say it fast. As much as I hate to credit them for it, it was pretty clever. Broke me to tears every time though.
I’ve heard all the jokes in the book since then. Walking down the stairs, it’s “Autumn watch out! You don’t want to FALL!”
Introducing myself in class it’s “Nice to meet you Spring!” Or “happy to have ya, Winter.”
But now I’m growing up. I’m in the awkward transition from teenager to adult and feel so uncertain in who I am, who I want to be.
Internally, I’m very secure in myself — arguably more than other girls my age. Growing up quickly is what the Universe wanted me to do. I know this because of the hundreds of doors that were shut in my face at a young age. Pain creates self transformation and exploration unlike any other.
Externally, what the fuck am I supposed to be doing?
I’m not the Autumn Cambron who sneaks out of the basement to go to Waffle House with my crush in the middle of the night anymore. But I’m definitely not the Autumn Cambron who knows how to write a check or pay taxes.
I’m clearly still figuring my shit out.
But so far, I’ve created myself into a pretty cool person. Someone I’m proud of.
Hi. I’m Autumn Cambron.
Here’s a few things you need to know about me.
My heart loves deeply, so passionately. It’s a blessing and a curse — but I wouldn’t change it if given the choice.
I’m extremely book smart with an extremely ditsy personality, which can lead to the idea of my “lacking common sense.”
I’m almost too outgoing, too comfortable in any given scenario. (So much to the point that I flashed a group of 20 girls I had met that night of my newly pierced nipples. They loved it though! Great way to make new friends).
I’ve always envied the mysterious kind of girls. Their ability to hold their tongue and keep their private business actually private is something I’ve never been able to master.
I’m 5’7 and have always been the tallest of my friend groups. Coincidentally, I’ve never dated someone over 5’9. Heels have never been my go-to shoe on date night.
I developed “icks” when I was in kindergarten. I still remember my first ever “ick.” I was sat next to a boy in Church one Tuesday and he would tap his foot as he sang the Gospel. I thought it was annoying and refused to hold his hand when praying the Our Father later in the service.
I’m deadly afraid of throwing up. Doctors describe this phenomenon as “emetophobia”. For some time, this phobia became disabling to me. I feared leaving the house in the case that I would be sick, especially in public. A phobia like this is so hard to tame because vomiting is clearly uncontrollable. I’m working on it — day by day.
I’m an Aquarius. According to Google, the best words to explain my horoscope is “analytical, humanitarian, independent, easy going, friendly, and original.” I include these researched descriptive words because I understand that most people only focus on their sign & rarely observe the others in detail. As I’m attempting to introduce myself, I’ve got to do it properly!
My fatal flaw is how impatient and impulsive I am. The characteristics go hand in hand. I feel the impulsive need to get a tattoo, I’m not patient enough to wait a week for it, and end up having another permanent drawing on my body within a few hours of having the idea.
The weather dramatically impacts my well being. If it’s about to rain, I get sharp headaches. Every. Single. Time. When it’s dark outside, I feel empty internally. When it’s bright outside, I feel full of light. My body is sensitive to its surroundings.
I’ve been in an embarrassing amount of car accidents. I’m a terrible driver. Not in the cutesy little “oopsie that curb came out of nowhere hehehe” type of terrible driver. I truly have the attention span of a young child. This impacts me more than just being behind the wheel. My conversations, ideas and goals jump all over the place. Trying to slow my own brain down is difficult and even frustrating sometimes.
And my final fun fact is this: Grace and Frankie is my favorite show of all time. Simple enough.
I thought that reading upon these 12 little bullet points would help me decide what I should be doing. Afterall, that was the question I asked myself earlier. But I know there’s no way to suddenly “figure myself out.”
I’m creating myself.
It takes time.
I’ll keep y’all posted on the journey.
More fun facts & blogs to come.
Thanks for reading so far & allowing me to introduce myself. I love you.